Dear Here Comes The Guide,
I had a destination wedding. Should I send a thank-you note to those guests that came to the wedding, but did not buy us a gift? Thanks for your help.
—Pauline M., Chicago, IL
Thank YOU for your question! It’s possible that these particular wedding guests—who paid to travel to your wedding—consider that to be their gift (especially if you had indicated on an invitation or verbally that their presence would be their present). Another possibility is that they just haven’t purchased your gift yet. Many people still hold to the custom that guests have up to a year to send a wedding gift.
In either case, I follow in the footsteps of famous advice columnists before me when I say it’s never wrong to thank people; when in doubt, THANK! Sending a thank-you note to express your delight at your guests’ willingness to drop everything—including a chunk of change—in order to be a part of your celebration is a very classy thing to do. As with all thank-you notes, try and include a specific personal detail. Here’s an example:
Dear Frank and Nadia,
Bob and I were so pleased that the two of you were able to join us for our wedding. It meant a lot to us to have you there. We especially enjoyed Frank’s rendition of “I Got You, Babe,” and will send you photos of his impromptu performance as soon as we get them. We do hope you had as much fun during our wedding as we did.
Lots of love, Pauline & Bob
And if Frank and Nadia DO end up sending you newlyweds a chafing dish or coffee maker, you would ALSO need to send a specific thank-you note for the gift. By the way, while an email thank-you is better than no thank-you, nothing says sincerity like a pretty card sent snail mail. Consider the cost of the stamp money well spent!