5 Things To Consider Before You Elope
So you've decided to elope...
Smart choice! More and more couples are steering clear of the "traditional" wedding and venturing down their own path.
Nowadays, the term "elopement" doesn't automatically mean a quick trip to City Hall or a drive-thru chapel in Vegas (though, both are great options). There are countless ways—and reasons—to elope. Maybe you and your boo are total introverts. Or maybe you just can't swing a $20,000 bill right now (understandable). Or perhaps an exotic elopement in Tahiti simply trumps all other options. All valid reasons to run off and tie the knot!
Elopements are becoming more commonplace—and more socially acceptable. However, even though this day is all about the two of you, there are still some things to consider and etiquette guidelines to follow.
Let's dive in, shall we?
1 } Announce Properly :: Because it's best to avoid a lifetime of parental guilt trips.
Although an elopement is an incredibly intimate experience for the couple, it can feel like a slap in the face to family and friends who hoped to be included. While you can't avoid hurt feelings entirely, here are a few ways to soften the blow:
→ Tell Your VIPs First
Tell your closest family and friends about your elopement almost immediately after the ceremony, if possible. (Or if you feel comfortable telling them beforehand, go ahead and do it!) If you can't tell them in person, give them a phone call. (Texting just isn't personal enough for such big news.) Be open and honest about the reasons why you and your partner chose to elope, and perhaps consider celebrating with them shortly afterwards with a cocktail hour or backyard BBQ reception.
→ Then Send Out Your Formal Announcements
Send out "We did it!" photo cards to anyone else you would have normally invited to a 'traditional' wedding. If you do decide to host a post-elopement celebration, you can include the details in your announcement.
→ Then Make It Social Media Official
We highly recommend holding off on any social media broadcasts until you've had a chance to notify your nearest and dearest directly.
2 } Do Your Research :: Because simply saying "I Do" doesn't make it legal.
Legal requirements for a marriage differ depending on the city, state, and country. They can include everything from a simple marriage license to a premarital blood test, witnesses, and a waiting period before you can officially wed. Some states even allow you to self-solemnize your marriage, meaning you don't need an officiant to make it official.
For an international elopement, contact the country's embassy or check out their tourism website to see the marriage requirements for non-residents. While an elopement is often a spur-of-the-moment decision, you'll need to do your research to make sure your knot is legally tied!
3 } Plan Some Things Out :: Because you can totally have a wedding cake for two.
Unless it's a truly spontaneous decision, you should do at least some planning for your elopement. First, you'll need to pick the location: The local courthouse or some exotic locale? If you're eloping to a destination, be sure to take care of your travel arrangements early—get those earlybird airfare and hotel deals!
You'll also have some other decisions to make:
- Will you hire any wedding vendors, such as an officiant, coordinator, or photographer?
- What day and time would you like to be married?
- Do you want to write your own vows?
- What will you wear?
- Do you want a bouquet and/or a boutonnière?
- Cake and champs?
- What about a post-elopement reception?
- Will you set up a gift registry? (More on that later.)
Kevin Chin Photography + Cinema
4 } Splurge Strategically :: You're saving beaucoup bucks, so why not treat yo' self?
Eloping is a fantastic way to save money, but that doesn't mean you need to skimp on everything. Plan out one (or more) strategic splurges to make this day truly memorable. It could be a honeymoon suite, beautiful rings, an expensive bottle of champagne, or a fabulous dress that you may or may not ever wear again. And no one regrets having magazine-worthy photos of their wedding day, amiright? Just because it's an "elopement" doesn't mean it's not as special as a big, formal wedding. Treat it as such!
Pro Tip: Ask vendors about special elopement pricing, or consider getting married on an off-day for a discounted rate. Also, seek out "elopement packages" for some great, all-inclusive deals. Save a little, splurge a little!
5 } To Register, Or Not To Register :: THAT is the question.
There are those who say that if you don't have an actual reception following your elopement, you probably shouldn't register. It's just not appropriate to run off and get hitched, and then expect people to buy you gifts.
On the other hand, it might be nice to have a modest wedding registry with some reasonably-priced items. That way, when your co-workers hear you eloped and they want to send you a congratulatory gift, they can do so with a couple clicks of the mouse. Easy-peasy.
And, if you do have that post-nuptial cocktail party or potluck, by all means set up a small registry for any guests who want to come bearing gifts.
The "etiquette" here lies in how you choose to share the registry information. Tell your immediate family or best friends to help spread the word in case people inquire. (And don't forget to send those thank-you notes!)
Planning to elope? We'd love to help.
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Some clients may have paid to be placed in our editorial and some of these links may be affiliate; however, we never include a venue, vendor, or product unless they have a proper place here. This is part of our Core Values. We create our website first and foremost to be good for the couples using it to plan their Big Day. We won't stray from that for a few advertising dollars. #scoutshonor