Here Comes the Guide brings you expert articles and blog postings about, well, sex.

Vera Wang: The Significance of a Wedding Proposal

Vera WangWhile the thought of marriage can be compelling, the headiest and most exciting part of a love story is always the proposal. That instant when you both just know. Whoever does the asking, the sheer thrill of being desired can be positively intoxicating, like the beginning of a new love affair; only this time with the added comfort and security of commitment.


How To Honor Loved Ones At Your Wedding

Somebody you consider dear has passed; how do you honor them on your wedding day without bringing everyone’s mood down a few notches?


Love Note Ceremony

For a love note ceremony, the bride and groom both write a good old fashioned love letter to each other on their wedding day, expressing in detail how they feel about their relationship. They’re not allowed to see the other’s letters or show them to anyone else. The letters are then sealed and given to the officiant at the ceremony, who locks them in a box with a bottle of good wine, creating a time capsule and emergency wedding kit in one. If the bride and groom ever feel that the marriage is in jeopardy, they’ll open the box, drink the wine, and read the letters together.


20 Years Later

I am the Mean Old Stepmommy to a wonderful daughter named Cindi. She will celebrate her 20th wedding anniversary this month and personally I am in awe of how two 19-year-old kids created a marriage that I truly admire.


Suzie and Bob

Suzie and Bob’s wedding day just happened to coincide with one of the worst floods in Orange, California’s history. Only 30 of their 130 guests could even get to the church, and the caterer, photographer, and DJ were no shows. Nevertheless, the bride and groom decided to go on with the ceremony.


Secret Wedding Lingerie

I shopped at Victoria’s Secret when I got married. Even in those olden days (13 years ago…or was it 14? Have to check my notes…), the trip to VS was part of the pre-wedding ritual. In real Victorian times, a woman’s trousseau was given to her by female relatives and included lots of white cotton underthings that covered her from neck to ankle.


To Err is Human; To Tell the Story? Divine!

If you’re a regular reader of our blog, you know that we like to discuss wedding issues by example: what we like, what’s worked for us, and once in a while, what not to do for your wedding (ever, ever again). We do it because all women have a story to tell, and we believe we learn as much from our own experiences as we do from the advice of our friends, women who’ve been there before. It’s only natural to want to add our own valuable voices to the mix. Fortunately, the highly opinionated women of Here Comes The Guide recently discovered a divine online forum with that goal in mind: Divine Caroline, that is.


Lost: One Wedding Ring, Owner Desperate and Sobbing

I lost my wedding ring the other day. It was only for a short time and everything is fine now, but while it was gone, I learned a few things about myself.


He Said Yes!

In this day and age, why should a woman wait for a man to propose? If you don’t think your guy will feel threatened by you popping this all-important question (and why would he?), then plan your approach, pick your moment, and gather your courage. I know one brave woman who recently did just that.


My First Time: Lake Tahoe

I remember the first time I saw Lake Tahoe—I had just moved to San Francisco for graduate school. My then-boyfriend invited me to a summer weekend at his family’s cabin on North Shore. As a city girl, I had precious little experience with life more than 10 minutes from a shopping mall, and was instantly enraptured with Tahoe’s quiet beauty and mountainous grandeur. Six months later, the same boyfriend took me on a spontaneous Tahoe jaunt for another first—my first time skiing. And even though at the end of the day the Bunny Hill still seemed like K2 to me, there were plenty of other joys to be had. I was amazed at how different and yet equally magnificent the blue lake was in its winter setting, and how crisp and clean the rustic terrain appeared with a dusting of snow. Hot chocolate just tasted better in the sweet mountain air, and surely Lake Tahoe had more stars in the sky than anywhere else on earth!


Marriage Prep 101

Sure, sex and money are still at the top of the couples quarrel list (right behind the nightly squabble over the remote). But according to a recent British study cited by couples’ counselors Drs. Michelle and Patrick Gannon, husbands and wives also get hoppin’ mad over issues concerning housework. There’s no easier way to build up resentment than mindlessly tossing used socks to the floor


Hard Questions Before You Say "I Do"

At first, love is so easy. You meet a hot guy with a sense of humor who’s gainfully employed and treats you well…what’s not to love? And when you discover that you both agree that Obama should be President and football on Sundays is fun, you’re ready to say “I Do” right then and there. Super. Let’s get married. Easy peasy.


Wedding Planning: The First Big Relationship Challenge

Tosca ProductionsAn excerpt.
by Drs. Michelle & Patrick Gannon, Marriage Prep 101
Plan the Planning Process First.This is the most important step in our approach to wedding planning. Unfortunately, this is also the step that most couples forget. Remember this: planning a wedding takes time and effort and, like any challenge, the way you meet the challenge requires planning too. Do this step first before you are drowning in the details.


Proposal Planners? Has It Come to This?

So I ask: Are the men out there actually spending $5,000 to $15,000 on planning the perfect proposal? Is this something we’re doing now?


Our Man in Mendocino

We’ve found that the best way to reward ourselves for reaching the sea is with a stay at the Inn on Schoolhouse Creek. The inn is tucked against gardens and deep woods, with a private path to an ocean cove… But the main appeal is that you will never, ever feel the stamp of the cookie-cutter here. Every accommodation is different – we especially loved the little stand-alone cabin with an observation deck (the better to listen to courting critters and watch a slowed-down world go by). During our last stay, my wife and I found that the private hot tub has its own benefits: The warm water freed up our joints, which led to some moves we hadn’t practiced for awhile. It was nice to pretend to be a 20-year-old again! Probably everybody who comes here feels like a 20-year-old for the night.


Valentine's Day Chocolate Gift Guide, #6

Every Valentine’s day, my husband Jaya brings me truffles from The Candy House of Davis, a wonderful chocolatier in Davis, CA. Each box comes with a card, picturing each of the 30 different kinds of truffles they make by hand. By comparing the way the truffle looks to the picture, you can find out what flavor ganache is inside. Whether it be Irish Creame, Decadence, Grand Marnier or White Russian, each one is so beautiful I almost want to save them… but of course, I never do. Each one I taste is more delicious than the one before.


Valentine’s Day Chocolate Gift Guide, #5

Thank goodness I discovered Dagoba. Fair Trade, Organic and award-winning, Dagoba’s unique “chocolate alchemy” combines flavors in innovative, tantalizing ways. Dagoba chocolate tastes genuine—that is, biting into a small piece, the first taste is chocolate, rather than sugar. Its authentic musky flavor sings of forests and unspoiled wilderness, invariably lifting my spirits. I’ve come to prefer my chocolate dark & spicy, and Dagoba’s Xocolatl, accented with cocoa nibs and chile peppers, satisfies my cravings. My husband isn’t as adventurous and fancies less intense varietals, such as New Moon, the best of bittersweet.


Valentine’s Day Chocolate Gift Guide, #4

For wedding favors, I love Vosges’ adorable takeout containers which can include truffles like the Black Pearl (ginger + wasabi + dark chocolate + black sesame seeds). Their two-piece truffle boxes can be customized with your names or message and your choice of ribbon colors. And, you can feel good about Vosges’ green commitment.


Valentine’s Day Chocolate Gift Guide, #3

Unlike my colleagues Lisa and Meredith, I didn’t even think about what chocolate my significant other would be. Instead, I grilled my poor boyfriend on what kind of chocolate he thinks I’d be. After vetoing every type of chocolate he came up with (“What? Really? Where the hell did you get that idea?”), the answer dawned on me while I was restocking on shampoo at the drugstore. An M&M! Or is it an M?


Tips for a Romantic Getaway

XSiGHT PhotographyWhether you’re planning a retreat to a quaint B&B or a luxurious resort, here are some thoughts to keep in mind as you prepare.