It’s My Wedding, Too!
Today’s grooms are involved in the wedding planning process.
Stress: bonding under pressure.
Of course, grooms are hardly immune to the mounting anxieties as holy matrimony approaches—especially when they’re managing a lot of the details. Mandelstam admits, “It was a bit stressful for me, mainly because there was so much to be done in a limited amount of time. Basically, the week before our wedding we worked literally non-stop.”
Although stress may temporarily put a crimp in an otherwise harmonious relationship, the bride and groom usually benefit when they go through this matrimonial trial by fire together. Tobey Dodge, who has run The Wedding Connection in Woodland Hills for the last 15 years, is a strong proponent of couples sharing this process: “Not only does the groom gain a greater appreciation for what it takes to put an event together, the couple has an opportunity to negotiate and work through something complex but worthwhile. This is a skill that every marriage requires if it’s going to succeed long-term.”
The Payoff.
Taking part in the ups and downs of designing a wedding seems to leave most grooms feeling deeply satisfied. The sense of control, and ultimately fulfillment, that they derive outweighs any stress or mixed emotions they might have experienced leading up to the event. “I think planning your own wedding makes it more fun,” explains Mays. “You’re not just showing up that day clueless about what’s going on. Because I was so involved, I didn’t stress out during the wedding, and that made the day go more smoothly. I could just relax and enjoy.”
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