Inviting Elements: Invitation Basics
Filed under Expert Advice, Invitations, Wedding How-toExcerpted from Countdown to your Perfect Wedding
by Joyce Scardina Becker
In general, a wedding invitation typically consists of several components:
- the invitation itself
- a separate reception card, if your ceremony and reception are in two different locations
- a response card (a.k.a. reply card), which allows your guests to indicate whether they will be attending the wedding
- a directions card, which indicates how to get to the wedding, and also provides other important information that guests need to know
- an outer envelope (and an inner envelope for traditionalists) to hold the invitation and other components
Before you can go pick out your invitations, you need to decide how to word them. You have two basic choices—you can conform to the traditional rules of etiquette, or you can select more contemporary options. Either way, it can be a challenge to appropriately express yourself, so I offer some suggestions to help you wade through the ways of wording.
Invitation Card
These days, many outdated wedding rules are vanishing, particularly in the overall look of invitations. Nevertheless, the traditional ways of wording still appeal to many couples because they make a clear statement of impeccable elegance, backed by centuries of use. But with non-traditional family situations and multiple funding sources for the festivities, it is much more challenging to come up with wording to fit your particular situation. It is beyond the scope of this article to cover every imaginable combination of family circumstances, but here is a general format for a traditionally worded invitation, with some common options italicized and explained in adjacent notes:

Note that full first names and middle names are used (no nicknames!), and nothing is abbreviated except titles like Mr., Mrs., Dr. and Jr. The bride’s name is listed before the groom’s, the groom has a title (Mr.) but the bride does not. The British spelling of the word “honour” is used for a church ceremony. State names, years, dates and times are all written out fully, and note that “half after four o’clock” is used rather than “four-thirty.” Commas are used only to separate the day and date, and the city and state.
If your style is more casual or contemporary, you do not have to be bound by conventional phraseology, but you still want to create a feeling of elegance and sophistication. I recommend that you look through contemporary books of invitations in stationery stores for inspiring ideas. Overall, keep in mind that reverence for the institution of marriage is always considered proper. Here is one suggestion to consider:
and
Joseph Robert Green
invite you to share in their joy
as they exchange marriage vows
alongside Napa Valley vineyards
on Saturday, the fifteenth of August
Two thousand and nine
at three-thirty in the afternoon
The Harvest Inn
One Main Street
Saint Helena, California
Dining and dancing under the stars
following the ceremony
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