Bel-Air Wedding Ceremonies

You probably wouldn’t expect a man who started out doing brain research to end up being one of the most popular officiants in Southern California, but that’s exactly what happened to Robert A. Ringler. His journey from scientist/educator/dean to nondenominational officiant has been an interesting one, spanning 20 years. In fact, he’s even made it onto the big screen as the minister in the 2009 comedy The Hangover!

Although we take interfaith marriages and personalized ceremonies for granted today, they were virtually unheard of when Robert embarked on his wedding career. Yet even from his first ceremony he was very progressive, helping two of his grad students write their own vows, and marrying them while they rock climbed. His refreshingly unorthodox approach to weddings was the beginning of a trend—to create ceremonies that reflect the backgrounds, interests and sentiments of the couple. “I have a perspective that’s not tied to any direction or faith,” Robert explains. “The couples I work with help give me my direction.”

Robert is a firm believer in the process of self- discovery. “I don’t preach to anyone,” he says firmly. “I give each couple ownership of their ceremony, and let them find their own spiritual, intellectual and emotional issues.” He also has compassion for and understanding of different cultures, and he encourages people to bring their respective heritages into their ceremony.

Robert has married over 6,000 couples in the last 20 years, and has developed possibly the world’s largest library of copyrighted ceremonies. After he’s met with a couple and has an idea of what they want to do, he selects a few ceremonies from his vast collection that he feels will relate to them. “Each couple that I work with receives the gift of wisdom from the couples that preceded them,” he says. “My library is organic—each new ceremony contributes to it, becomes a part of the family of ceremonies. Every couple helps reshape the notion of a wedding ceremony. There are no rules: I give them permission to do whatever they want; I’m their facilitator, but the final product is theirs.”

Because he’s so flexible, working with Robert is a breath of fresh air. “I tell my couples that I don’t have a ‘one ceremony fits all’ and I don’t do anything boring.” What he does do is as much or as little as they want. They can use an existing ceremony or start from scratch. They’re free to include poetry, singing, favorite customs or even have their friends read special passages. When Robert officiates, he strives to capture the essence of each ceremony and convey it to the couple and their guests in a way that touches them. “My participation is so much more than just reciting words,” he says. “I try to give the bride and groom a sense of community along with my support, friendship and resources.”

Professionals in the industry enjoy watching Robert “at work.” A coordinator who’s witnessed many a Robert A. Ringler wedding says, “He doesn’t do cookie-cutter ceremonies—every one is different. It’s wonderful to see a guy who’s so spontaneous, who reacts to what’s unfolding in the moment.” After 20 years of performing weddings, over 90% of Robert’s couples are still married. Now it could be just a coincidence, but there is a possibility that if he pronounces you husband and wife, you’ll have marital luck down the road.

Note that marriage licenses are available on request.