Somebody you consider dear has passed; how do you honor them on your wedding day without bringing everyone’s mood down a few notches?
I know this problem well. We were all missing my husband during his son’s wedding, but when the Best Man stood to honor him with a sincere tribute (which might have been a longer speech than his toast to the bride and groom!), tears—and not the happy kind!—started to flow.
No one should have to leave the reception to dry their eyes. And while this may sound harsh, your wedding is not your loved one’s memorial service. Weddings are joyous occasions, and my gut tells me that your loved ones would not want you to choose your special day to mourn.
Whatever you choose to do, remember: It’s your day. You set the boundaries. Discuss your feelings with your family and anyone giving toasts and speeches (including your officiant).
The day after my son’s wedding, I took flowers from the wedding and went to the park to set them on the memorial bench donated in honor of my husband’s life. I sat there for a while, cried a little, and left the bench thinking about how Russell and Alix were on their way to their honeymoon and new life together. That made me smile.