Wedding Thank-You Notes: A Small Thing That’s a Big Deal
Posted by Jan on Apr 07, 2008. Filed under Expert Advice, Invitations
Comments (7), Permalink
I rarely go to weddings (maybe it’s because most of my social circle is either already married or never going to be), but a year ago a friend invited me to one.
As my friend’s date I wasn’t obligated to bring a gift, but I’d I’d been told the bride and groom liked to cook, so I got them a few of my favorite kitchen gadgets from Sur La Table as a wedding present. I put my present on a table with dozens of other gifts, and hoped that it wouldn’t get lost in the pile.
I was fairly certain that soon after the wedding I would receive a thank-you note for my modest-but-thoughtful-and-super-practical gift. Alas, the postman never brought one. Months passed, and I wondered…Did the couple not like my gift? Had it disappeared? Been regifted? Eventually I just forgot about it altogether.
Until yesterday, that is. I flipped through my mail and was surprised to see the long-awaited thank-you note. Oh it was beautiful, all right—handwritten, very personal. But I have to say I had mixed emotions: Sure, it was great to know that my gift had been received and, in fact, “loved.” But I couldn’t help feeling that I shouldn’t have had to wait an entire year to learn that my present hadn’t been disliked, lost or regifted after all.
Moral of the story: Honor your guests—don’t wait a year to send out your thank-you notes!
Actually, Emily Post states that thank-you notes should be written within 3 months of the receipt of the gift. For more on wedding thank-you notes click here.
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Comments
I’m going to get married this summer and I’m still learning the correct ways to make a perfect wedding. I don’t usually receive thank you note, but I will definitely put this on one of my to do list after the honeymoon.
A year is far too long to send out a thank you. You get a gift.. you say thank you and you do it promptly.
It is absolutely rude and self-centered to wait a year to say thank you. Everyone that attends your wedding has spent their hard earned time and money to be there for you, so taking an afternoon (with the hubby..he can address and stamp the envelopes if his writing is atrocious) to write them is the least any couple can do. I always feel fortunate to have people to thank.
You absolutely have a year to write thank yous after your wedding! Any guest who is waiting for that thank you has a lot of extra free time on their hands. And thank yous should be sent out all at once; guests will talk and wonder where theirs is. Let’s get real! Working couples with high stress jobs do not have the adequate free time to adhere to these silly rules. A thank you is a thank you is a thank you.
Julie, are you kidding? What planet do you live on? One that revolves around you? No one is so busy that they can’t write a thank you note to express their appreciation for the kindness and thoughtfulness of others. What you call “silly rules” others call decency.
I think that thank you cards are a waste of time. On the night all guests are usually given a small gift with a thank you card attached on it. Throughout the night you also thank your guests personally… how many times do you need to say thank you!!!!!!!
When you thank people at the wedding, you are thanking them for making your wedding more joyous by being there.
I guess on your wedding day you could specifically thank them in person for getting you those stemless wineglasses from your registry--that would work for me, but then I’m gen x. Don’t try that with my mother!
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I sent most of my thank yous within 2 months of the wedding, but towards the end of the job (haha) my husband asked me if he could help. I took him up on his offer! I handed him a stack of blank cards and the page with all the gifts from his buddies and asked him to write personal notes to them. I brought the notes up periodically, but then I let it drop. At LEAST 6 months later, I found that blank stack of notes stashed away in a drawer. I felt so bad I dropped everything, wrote them out and made a mad dash for the mailbox.
In the end I blamed myself: my husband is not the kind of man to patiently sit and write out thank you notes for even a few hours. And make them legible? That’s another story.
If you want it done right, do it yourself!