Last Wednesday night was not a great one at Chez Schwartz. It was after dinner (one that I had prepared after a very long day at work) and all three kids were working on homework while my husband of 7 years was supposed to be doing the dishes. This is our division of labor, I cook, he cleans. (Very 21st Century.) But he’d had a terrible day at work and had a cold coming on and was really dragging. So I said I’d step in and clean up the kitchen. My teeth may have been gritted when I said it, but I said it. This was, in truth, the very last thing on the planet that I felt like doing. The dishes are HIS job, right? I really was irritated, I gotta say. But I saw his weariness and I knew I needed to do what I could to make his life a bit easier.
And this, in my opinion, is marriage. It’s not the wedding, as we all know. It’s not the party or the photography or the dress. It’s definitely not the ring. It’s doing dishes when you really don’t feel like it. It’s believing that the whole reason we marry is to commit to making our spouses’ path through life just a bit easier. Actually, it was my husband who taught me all about “love through actions”. He lives it every day, making me my morning coffee, surprising me with a shiny, washed car or insisting I stop working at my computer and sit down for a five minute shoulder rub. He’s such a wonderful man.
As I stood there thinking about this that night, I thought that really, this was a great opportunity to show my love for my husband through my actions. And then I thought about all the brides out there right then planning their weddings in the later hours of the evening after a hard day at work. Do try to hear me on this: my husband and I had a lovely wedding. I wouldn’t trade that away for anything. But my experience doing the dishes the other night was a very powerful reminder of what we committed ourselves to on that day.
What if, after you’re married, you commit to putting as much effort into showing your new spouse your love through actions as you did planning your event? What would that mean for your new marriage?
You’d think with my job, running Here Comes the Guide, that I’d be a wedding junkie. And I do love weddings, don’t get me wrong. The pomp, the emotional gravity… But, I gotta say, I am a sucker for the rehearsal dinner. There’s something so nice about that particular part of the wedding festivities: there are usually fewer people, you might actually get to speak to the bride and groom, the dress code is more casual, the food more eclectic, the toasts – well, they might even get a bit off-color. It’s a time where the focus is more on fun and less on formal. And, as two of my three kids are boys, I like the fact that rehearsal dinners give the groom’s parents time to shine. We’ve seen in recent years a definite increasing importance to the rehearsal dinner for many of these reasons and more. I love seeing how creative couples can be with this event.
Our Managing Editor, Lisa Edd, wrote a great piece on some ways that you can increase the impact of your rehearsal dinner. You can read it here. We also highlight some of our fave locations to have said event and we are constantly featuring different ones, so you won’t be short on possibilities.
Ever been to a really awesome rehearsal dinner, one that was maybe more fun than the wedding even? Let me know about it! We’ll share your feedback.
WELCOME to Here Comes The Guide’s blog, a potpourri of dishy info about prime California wedding locations, top event specialists and the latest bridal trends from the people who know it best. From the wilds of the Wine Country to the balmy beaches of San Diego, we leave no champagne glass unturned to bring you the bridal buzz. Just think of us as “your friends in the wedding business.”
To get you started, we’ve launched the blog with a few pieces from our On The Scene column, which we’ve been doing for a while, to give you a taste of what’s to come. We’re really looking forward to being able to share all kinds of useful info with you and to let you get to know the girls behind Here Comes the Guide. And if you have any scoops you’d like to share, by all means please contact us! More soon…