Here Comes The Guide's Blog

Wedding Trendwatch: Peacocks

It seems like peacock feathers have been showing up everywhere in the world of wedding fashion lately, and I have to say, I’m thrilled. Sure, hot pink or bright orange make a bold statement (and those colors definitely had their bridal heyday in recent years!), but I think the juxtaposition of hard metallic blue, green, and black colors and soft, fluttery feathers is such a fitting metaphor for today’s woman. Besides, a feather in your hair or bouquet is a perfect “something blue!”

This Peacock inspiration board from The Perfect Palette pretty much says it all, but if you’re hungry for more ideas, Perfect Details has some peacock flair for your guest book and beyond, like these green amethyst earrings. 

If you’re looking to make a bolder peacocky statement, pin this peacock feather brooch to your purse, or go all out glam with this birdcage hairclip from Urban Outfitters and strut your stuff! 

How To Honor Loved Ones At Your Wedding

Somebody you consider dear has passed; how do you honor them on your wedding day without bringing everyone’s mood down a few notches?

I know this problem well. We were all missing my husband during his son’s wedding, but when the Best Man stood to honor him with a sincere tribute (which might have been a longer speech than his toast to the bride and groom!), tears—and not the happy kind!—started to flow.

No one should have to leave the reception to dry their eyes. And while this may sound harsh, your wedding is not your loved one’s memorial service. Weddings are joyous occasions, and my gut tells me that your loved ones would not want you to choose your special day to mourn.

So how do you respectfully acknowledge a loved one without losing the joy of a moment?

• Place pictures of everyone who’s important to you, living or not, on a table at the reception. If you can add lots of goofy and fun pictures to the mix, it’ll become a celebration of life instead of a memorial.

• If you’re having a video montage at your reception, don’t forget you’re the star of the show. Always keep the photos light and fun, and make sure the music has an upbeat tempo.

• Is there a piece of Grandma’s jewelry you can wear at the ceremony? Is there material from her wedding dress that you can have made into a handkerchief? Can the groom wear his grandpa’s cuff links? Just the act of wearing something of theirs can make you feel closer.

• Incorporate a favorite bible verse, poem, or song in the ceremony. You can mention the significance in your wedding program, but don’t call attention to the reason during the event.

• No poems coming to mind? Simply include their name in a special note in your wedding program: “Here in our hearts we honor…” You can add a dove, butterfly, or a cross after their name, or maybe even a little note that says: “we love that we know you are here in spirit, Grandpa”

Whatever you choose to do, remember: It’s your day. You set the boundaries. Discuss your feelings with your family and anyone giving toasts and speeches (including your officiant).

The day after my son’s wedding, I took flowers from the wedding and went to the park to set them on the memorial bench donated in honor of my husband’s life. I sat there for a while, cried a little, and left the bench thinking about how Russell and Alix were on their way to their honeymoon and new life together. That made me smile.

Love Note Ceremony

I recently attended a wedding that included a tradition I’d never seen before: a love note ceremony.

Before their wedding, the bride and groom both write a good old-fashioned love letter to each other, expressing in detail how they feel about their relationship. They’re not allowed to see the other’s letters or show them to anyone else. The letters are then sealed and given to the officiant at the ceremony, who locks them in a box with a bottle of good wine, creating a time capsule and emergency wedding kit in one. If the bride and groom ever feel that the marriage is in jeopardy, they’ll open the box, drink the wine, and read the letters together. This particular couple has agreed to open the box on their 25th wedding anniversary if they never feel a need to open it sooner.

I loved the idea. Marriage is by no means easy, and sometimes we’re so focused on romance we occasionally forget that very important fact. But wow: I didn’t realize how controversial the love note ceremony was until we got to the reception! Some agreed it was a sweet idea, but others felt it was too depressing to be included at a wedding. I think one guest said it best: “Why make everyone wonder if this marriage is going to last before the celebration’s even over?”

Wedding guests on both sides of the issue raised some valid points, and I’d like to keep the discussion going. What do you think about the love note ceremony?